I got up this morning and I felt pretty happy with my bed and my teddy bear. What a pleasant morning to have regardless of the construction sounds outside.
I wondered; “how many of us are enjoying their mornings these days and feeling happy immediately they open their eyes for the new day?”. The answer that came to my mind was painfully; there are not many people who actually feel happy. They have so many things on their minds; things to worry about, things that are of concern, things to regret and be hurt by, and things to be angry about.
I also noticed that people would spend so much of their time and energy complaining about how unhappy they were and how they could be happy if they could only get out of those things bothering them or lived life without a particular type of person. I kept hearing the ” If ” word from them over and over again while things continued dragging on under the same conditions, for so long. What I saw was no change or even sign of improvement. But I had the answer to what I experienced from people around me: it is pretty easy for people to complain about things rather than to deal with the issues in front of them.
So what ends up happening is that these people become trapped with what they know so well. With anything unfamiliar they feel unhappy. A lot of time, they try to avoid things and look just for a quick ‘happiness fix’. They don’t want any stress.
I have a number of people, who I care about, who behave this way. The classic saying I usually hear is: “I am not perfect, things are not perfect, and people are not perfect so I just have to bear with it because we are all not perfect.” Oh well… how depressing that sounds. Why do you give in? Why give up just like that?
It is not the issue of one imperfect thing versus another. I am not perfect, none of us are perfect. So why do you come up with that kind of supporting logic? The point is: should you think this way for the rest of your life? Until you die? This is unfulfilling.
The other point is: if you know that you will die tomorrow, will you want to spend your last day on earth feeling this way? If the answer is clearly “NO”, why do you waste your time right now being with those things and those people?
You ought to love yourself.
It is because loving yourself is the most important thing you can do and no one else can do that for you. Your priority is “You” and you should care for your own happiness.
Accept first that you are NOT happy, and accept first that you do not deserve to be unhappy. Once you do that, then you will identify the real cause of your unhappiness whether it is the people, the job, the society, or even the bad habit you my have. You had better get yourself out of those things. Just remember, it is so much easier than trying to change something you have no full control over. And do remember, your success rate is higher when you change yourself than when you try to change the people or the situation around you.
Let me repeat: “Get yourself out of that”.
Remove yourself from those things that trigger your unhappiness. Please do not fear, do not be scared, do not be concerned about anything else because all you must care about is “You” and “You” deserves to be happy right now — not at some point in an unknown future.
Be true with yourself then you can make an immediate move ethically and wisely. Identify the approaches, commit to doing it now, and do it every single day in every way you can. Don’t stop for even a day because the top priority is to get yourself out of the causes of your unhappiness with the minimum of time. As everyday passes by, you will know more and more that you are stepping away further from the causes of your unpleasantness. Even sometimes, by doing so, it may cost you some pain; but you know well that it is a temporary pain to bear for the certainty of happiness to last.
Now it is the time to ask: have you got up this morning and felt happy?
PS: thank you, Andrew Young, for being the morning star and shining this piece of my post for me; and for Mark W. Gura (www.WhatIsItAllFor.com), for coming up with very beautiful wordings for banner graphics.